Here Are Some Alternatives To Loot Boxes

Illustration for article titled Here Are Some Alternatives To Loot Boxes

Loot boxes! They’re all anyone can talk about these days. But what if we didn’t have to talk about loot boxes. What if there were other types of boxes we could talk about instead.

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I wish we could talk about these boxes, and the wonderful secrets they could contain.

Hoot Boxes: A box full of owls.

Moot Boxes: Contain points already made in a discussion.

Toot Boxes: Just cute little model steam trains.

Coot Boxes: Old men who are upset that football players are taking a knee.

Zoot Boxes: Loads of 1940s suits.

Soot Boxes: A mass of impure carbon particles resulting from the incomplete combustion of hydrocarbons.

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Foot Boxes: Also known as shoes. These boxes would contain shoes.

Root Boxes: A 1/8 chance of getting Questlove.

Lute Boxes: For Troubadours that don’t want to grind to unlock.

Also:

Illustration for article titled Here Are Some Alternatives To Loot Boxes
Illustration for article titled Here Are Some Alternatives To Loot Boxes

In closing: we’re fine with boxes, they just need better stuff.

Luke Plunkett is a Senior Editor based in Canberra, Australia. He has written a book on cosplay, designed a game about airplanes, and also runs cosplay.kotaku.com.

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DISCUSSION

conwaycostigan
ConwayCostigan

I think companies need to stop being shy about it.

Add weekly loot box leader boards.

The leader boards track each player’s weekly amount of real world cash sunk into loot boxes.

Those at the top of the leader boards get the right to purchase deluxe loot boxes that have a 2% higher chance to drop ultra rares for the next 24 hours.