Fortnite’s latest update brings aerial battles, but it also quietly introduced what should have been a very welcome feature: the ability to pet dogs (and cats, and other animals). It’s a pity, then, that it sucks.

Before we go any further, for reference here is some good video game dog petting, courtesy of Far Cry 5:

And The Sims 4:

Those dogs are getting a damn good petting! At the other end of the spectrum, here is Fortnite:

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That is not a pet. That is, as Riley called it, a “swipe”. It looks like a rebranded melee attack. It looks dismissive, the opposite of what a snuggle with a pooch should be. It looks like he’s slapping the dog with the back of his hand, or opening a door.

(Actually, it may literally just be the “opening a door” animation).

Just to be sure that wasn’t a one-off, GoGoGamer went and petted all the animals, and it’s all the same. You approach an animal, you get the “pet animal” prompt, your heart soars, and then...a swipe, and nothingness.

Epic, if you’re going to make a point of letting us pet the dogs, let us pet the dogs.