"My name is Guybrush Treepwood. Prepare to die!"
Long have those words been immortalized in the minds of those who love video games. Anyone who played The Secret of Monkey Island heard them time and again as hapless wannabe pirate Guybrush Threepwood fought his way through the Melee Island nights. Fought, and lost, because he didn't know the right insults.
To anyone who lived under a rock during the 90s, the swordfights in Ron Gilbert and Tim Schafer's comedy gaming classic weren't won on strength or dexterity, they were won on wits. Throw a good enough insult, and your opponent will have no choice but to retreat and eventually surrender. And what do you know, you can now play all of the series' "insult swordfighting" right in your browser.
I was surprised how many of these I'd forgotten, and how tricky it can be when the Sword Master spins them back on you in creative new ways. Also, I've only played the first two Monkey Island games, so I'll probably get my ass handed to me by the swordfighting in Monkey Island 3.
We can thank Karza Games for this rendition, which you can also play on your mobile device.
[Insert joke about feather dusters and having a little TIP for you here.]