Fan-Submitted NBA Jam Catchphrases Are Actually Pretty Good

Illustration for article titled Fan-Submitted emNBA Jam/em Catchphrases Are Actually Pretty Good

NBA Jam will immortalize four fan-submitted catchphrases in the game when it reboots on the Wii this year. Last night EA Sports put up 64 candidates - all read by original announcer Tim Kitzrow - and many are surprisingly edgy.

The submissions have been paired off, tournament-bracket style, with the final four to be included in the game. You can visit the game's Facebook page (click the "Boomshakalaka" tab) to hear audio clips of all 64. Voting begins tomorrow with the "Kaboom!" regional, followed by the "He's On Fire!" bracket Wednesday, then "Monster Jam" and "Slamm-A-Jamma's" brackets on Thursday and Friday.

I'm a little peeved that "Wonder Twin powers, activate!" (for an alley-oop) and "Somebody get the rim a band-aid!" (for a savage jam) didn't make it. But both ripped off the Superfriends and Trent Tucker, respectively, so, EA Sports legal might have had problems with that.


Here's my analysis of the field:

Kaboom! Bracket
By far the best bracket overall. "Diagnosis: You suck!" (for a steal) and "Droppin' a deuce!" (made basket) will have an epic clash in the Sweet Sixteen. But I like "You suck" prevailing over "That man has some dunk in his trunk," (for a dunk) in the regional finals.

He's on Fire! Bracket
"No shoot for you!" (blocked shot) is the front runner. It'll meet "Call him airplane food, ‘cause he's nasty in the air!" (dunk). Though the latter's a bit long, it's the best choice.

Monster Jam! Bracket
"Shake that badunka-dunk" (dunk) should emerge from a very competitive top half of the bracket. ("I got the pancakes, you bring the Aunt Jam-ima," for an alley-oop, is a little long) But it will lose in the end to "Bangalanga-doo-dah!"(dunk) an excellent corruption of this Budweiser ad.


Slam-A-Jamma! Bracket
"The Dutch called, they want their windmills back!" (dunk) should come out of the top half. Quite possibly the greatest round of 32 matchup in catchphrase tournament history comes out of the bottom, with "Bow to your sensei!" (block) narrowly losing to "The ball is in ... he's got a pair!" (made shot). And I like that last one to go all the way to the final four.

NBA Jam [Facebook]

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Just hire this guy and throw him in the corner like the Toastee guy from MK.

Bang. Gold Plated Diapers.