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Fallout 4's Brotherhood of Steel Are Giant Dicks

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In the 100+ hours I’ve played Fallout 4, I’ve been a pretty heroic dude. Well...with one exception.

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It’s funny: I used to play older Fallouts as a kleptomaniac, pretty much, but Fallout 4 is a rather generous game. I’ve never really hurt for caps, or weapons, which means that, for the most part, I haven’t really stolen much from other people.

Even when it would be absurdly easy, and the gains would be significant...

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...I refrained. I mean, how could I steal from someone who says things like this?

Illustration for article titled iFallout 4s/i Brotherhood of Steel Are Giant Dicks

I thought I could keep this “benevolence” going, and I did! For dozens of hours, I kept my sticky fingers to myself. And then I met the Brotherhood.

Oh, the Brotherhood. There’s no way around this: the Brotherhood are dicks. Enormous assholes. The absolute worst. There is nobody I hate more in Fallout 4 than the Brotherhood. Can you blame me? The overzealous assholes just stormed into the Commonwealth, acting like they own the place. They feel that they are entitled to every significant piece of technology out in the wasteland, and they’re not fond of sharing.

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The Brotherhood’s ideology doesn’t even make any sense in Fallout 4. The Brotherhood of Steel is supposed to be about the preservation and protection of technology. Their leader, Elder Maxson, takes this to mean that the Brotherhood must destroy all synths. He views synths as a threat to humanity, and endeavors to wipe that threat out. Why not, I don’t know, preserve that technology like they’re supposed to and maybe use it for good? Why not learn from it, maybe? But no. You have to destroy the Institute if you side with the Brotherhood. Bleh.

Maybe I’m biased. My favorite companion is Nick Valentine, the synth you meet at Diamond City. And just look at how the Brotherhood of Steel treats him:

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Oh hell naw.

Still, I kept my cool. I did some story missions for the Brotherhood, because I wanted to unlock their Vertiberd upgrade. It’s a pretty good perk—you can call a Vertiberd to your location, and it can take you anywhere you want, even if you’re overencumbered. The mini-gun onboard is neat, too.

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While the Brotherhood has its perks, eventually their attitude just got to me. It’s just awful, especially when you consider some of the most distasteful things they have you do during their faction quests. Then they have the nerve to say stuff like this:

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Mostly, though, I blame this guy.

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This fucking guy, right here. Proctor Teagan. If you talk to him, he’ll send you on a revolting quest where you have to force farmers to give crops to the Brotherhood, regardless of whether or not they want to. And it’s strongly suggested by Teagan that you should use whatever means necessary to get farmers to comply.

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While this is typical Brotherhood attitude—they’ve always been giant dicks, really—I also know that farmers in the Commonwealth have a pretty huge target on their back. I know how often farms get hit by raiders, how often they get killed for their precious resources. The only difference between a Raider and a Brotherhood soldier is that Raiders are at least honest about how bad they really are.

After speaking to Teagan, something in his shop caught my eye.

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That Power Armor helmet? It’s the X-01 Power Armor helmet. That’s the best armor in the game. And Teagan just had this helmet sitting right there, out in the open. I already owned one, but I couldn’t help thinking: what else might Teagan have hiding back there?

My old ways called back to me. I hatched a plan: I would break into the armory. Even if it meant breaking down a Master lock. Even if I had to do it in plain sight.

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Once inside, I noticed this beauty:

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The Gauss rifle. In the dozens of hours that I had sunk into Fallout 4, I had never come across this gun before—and I wanted it. I knew this one wasn’t mine, but listen: the Gauss rifle was my most anticipated weapon in Fallout 4. And there it was, for the taking! I couldn’t help myself. I nabbed the Gauss rifle, one of the Brotherhood’s rarest assets.

And that’s how I ended up with one of the best guns in the game.

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I took everything else, too. I have no regrets. The Brotherhood deserved it. Besides, this is pretty mild in comparison to what I have in store for them down the line. Let’s just say I doubt the Prydwen will be in the air for much longer...

We all have moments like this in Fallout, I know. Back when we were doing a retrospective series on New Vegas, Kirk detailed his experience with The Silver Rush, that one place he just had to rob. So, I’m curious: what was a place you just had to steal from in Fallout 4, and why wasn’t it the Brotherhood of Steel?

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DISCUSSION

Fallout 3’s Lyon’s Pride probably spoiled me. I knew they were a splinter group that was decidedly more “nice” than the rest of the Brotherhood. I didn’t expect them to, in ten years, get an airship and change to the “our way or a nuke in the face” approach they have in Fallout 4.

Then again, I don’t really get why the Institute, which is supposed to be focused on the future of humanity, is so dead set on making organic, living, breathing synths only to consider them as no better than slave/machines.

And the Railroad is big on synth rights... to they point they’re willing to kill countless humans, including those making the synths, in order to free any of them.

Heck, all three of the main factions are pretty dickish.