When the end credits rolled for Transformers: Fall of Cybertron I was pretty sure High Moon Studios was actively engaging in fan trolling. Specifically fans of Stan Bush's Transformers the Movie anthem, "The Touch".
Earlier this month during a Q&A here at Kotaku, a fan asked the game's lead designer, Matt Tieger, if he could make fans happy by telling them Stan Bush was somewhere in the game, to which he replied, "you will be happy." As the music started, I was not happy.
Credit spoilers ahead?
See, the song that started when the credits rolled was indeed Stan Bush's "The Touch", but not the version we grew up with. Instead it was "The Touch: Sam's Theme", a version Stan put together after not getting on the soundtrack for Michael Bay's first live-action film in favor of a Linkin Park song. In a desperate attempt to be relevant to the filmmakers' tastes, Stan decided to try and be Linkin Park.
The result? Pretty horrible. There's a piano intro. There's soulful crooning. There's a middle age white guy rapping. Not a middle age Beastie Boy, mind you. Just a guy, carrying verses over, ending lines with bits of the next. It's just bad.
Now I have nothing but love for Stan — I did help get "The Touch" into Guitar Hero, after all. The man is an inspiration. And I understand the desperate attempt, I really do, but Stan — you're better than that. The Transformer films do not resonate with fans of the franchise. Guess what does? You, sir.
Anyway, as those credits rolled I was sure High Moon was taking the piss. I was upset, and a little angry. And then ROBOT DAP.
Oh you guys, you had me going there for a moment, but I knew you had potential, lads.
I leave you with sexy robot dancing.