EVE Player Acts Like A Jerk About Secret Santa, Gets Sent 6,000 Pieces Of In-Game Coal

Illustration for article titled iEVE /iPlayer Acts Like A Jerk About Secret Santa, Gets Sent 6,000 Pieces Of In-Game Coal

In games as in life, it’s not a great idea to complain about Secret Santa presents.

In the wake of a recent fan-organized EVE Online Secret Santa event, one player wasn’t too pleased with the gift he received—a skin for a Purifier ship—and decided to voice his frustrations publicly. “I don’t even use fucking Purifiers,” he wrote on the Goonfleet forums (via PCGamesN). “I would have liked anything else but a nasty looking skin.” After some players pushed back, he continued with more expletive-laden ranting.

Bad idea. For one, the person who gave this guy a gift hadn’t been playing EVE for very long, and for two, Secret Santas are something people do out of the kindness of their hearts. Not everybody can be Bill Fuckin’ Gates.


Thanks to another member of the Goonswarm going by the handle CMvan46, the EVE Online subreddit caught wind of the angriest little space elf’s tantrum, and one player, NazAlGhul, hatched a plan.

“Alright guys, I have a little secret,” they wrote. “The name on your Goonfleet account is the name of your main account usually. So all of you should contract out 1x Carbon to the guy who’s bitching. We don’t have coal in this game, but Carbon’s basically coal in EVE exploration. Just every last one of you set out a contract for it.”

A lot of people decided to go along with it. As of NazAlGhul’s last report, the Secret Santa complainer has been sent over 6,000 units of carbon.

So, let that be a lesson to you all: when presents are involved, probably don’t be a dick about it. This goes double if you’re part of the trolliest corporation in all of (virtual) space.

Kotaku senior reporter. Beats: Twitch, streaming, PC gaming. Writing a book about streamers tentatively titled "STREAMERS" to be published by Atria/Simon & Schuster in the future.

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Scott Bakula approves.

or he would if he didn’t die of a cocaine overdose on his tourbus I guess