Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Dusclops!
Average Height: 5' 043"
Average Weight: 67.5 lbs
First Added In Generation III
Imagine walking through the dark, creepy woods and stumbling upon a large, grey ghost with one red eye. As you get closer you notice it is hollow. Your friend, who came with you to help, notices this too. But the emptiness entrances them. They can’t look away and soon they are too close and you watch as they get sucked into the grey beast. A moment later, after a small scream, they are gone. The creature turns to face you. What would you do? I know what I wouldn’t do: Capture it and add it to my collection of creatures. And yet, many Pokemon trainers do just that. They capture and train Dusclops, a large ghost Pokemon able to suck up souls.
This isn’t the first time (or likely the last time) I’ll mention this, but the idea of catching ghosts and calling them Pokemon is wild. That nobody in the Pokemon universe seems to find this disturbing and wrong is bizarre. It’s even weirder when the ghosts you are catching are things like Dusclops, a creature that could easily kill a lot of people by sucking them into its body, which is hollow and acts like a black hole. One screw up and a whole school or gym could be emptied by some idiot and his Dusclops.
Yet, not only are people capturing and training this thing in the Pokemon universe, but some are even putting it to work. In a screenshot posted on Bulbapedia, you can see that somebody thought it was a good idea to have a Dusclops work behind the scenes at a TV studio. They have this scary, deadly creature pushing around boxes. This seems like a terrible idea. Why not just hire some teenagers and pay them shit? No, instead you have a walking black hole pushing around boxes of old wigs and fake plants.
“Hey, Sam, have you seen that Dusclops around. They needed to bring up some coats for rehearsals.”
“Uh...I think it was over in the break room. Careful. Dusclops is in a mood today. Already sucked up Jenny AND Tom.”
Is there a Ghostbusters-like group in the Pokemon universe? If so, let me know. If not, forget I said anything and excuse me while I write up a pitch to Nintendo for a game that’s part Pokemon and part Ghostbusters.
- On top of being a black hole able to suck souls away forever, Dusclops can also control and hypnotize people with its hands. WHY ARE PEOPLE CATCHING THIS THING?
- Supposedly it has a ball of spectral fire inside it, but because anyone who looks inside it gets suck into it forever, nobody has confirmed this theory.
- Once absorbed inside of Dusclops nobody knows what happens next and nothing has ever returned. Maybe you die? If you are lucky.
“I feel bad, but this series just jumped the shark for me. I’m out. This is now the Kristin Cavallari of 2020.”
I expected some folks wouldn’t like the 311 parody last week. And I fully get that. I do. Don’t feel bad. Here’s the thing. Some Pokemon are boring or just not that interesting. So I might try to do weirder/different things like this in the future. If you don’t like that, please let me know. This isn’t going to be a regular thing. but sometimes I might try something different. Hopefully, that’s okay with some of you.