Do Not Touch The Mako!

This is the ideal Mako. You may not understand it, but this is what perfection looks like.
This is the ideal Mako. You may not understand it, but this is what perfection looks like.
Screenshot: BioWare

The Mass Effect Legendary Edition will be out May 14th, and amid the myriad of emotions I am feeling right now, one tidbit of information gives me pause. According to reports on Eurogamer and VentureBeat, in addition to all the fancy graphical bells and whistles BioWare is adding to the eldest of the trilogy, the Mako—Commander Shepard’s faithful, stalwart, six-wheeled steed, is also getting an overhaul of improved handling and camera control.

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I am here, come upon my hill to die, to tell you this: DO NOT FIX THE MAKO!

Some of my fondest memories playing the original Mass Effect are when I would grab Garrus and Tali and go off-roading on some empty backwater planet, jumping gorges and clipping into mountainsides. Maybe I’d run into a random thresher maw to cheese with the Mako’s fuck-off huge canon, or maybe I’d ramp off a slope just right so that I would spiral through the air like a football. Yes, the controls suck, but that’s what makes it fun. The Mako is good. The Mako is fun. The Mako is an unwieldy, piece-of-shit tank that can somehow ascend a 90-degree slope, and I LOVE IT.

Do not ruin the Mako’s purity with such notions of “improvement.” It’s perfect the way it is.

#leavethemakoalone

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Kotaku Staff Writer and Hornt Correspondent - Fanfiction Novelist - Unapologetically Black - Diversity Gelatinous Cube

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