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Nobody Wants To Buy The Ugly Crypto House

It features tasteful inclusions like NFT wallpapers and a Doge room

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Good evening, savvy property investors and interested home-buyers. Have you ever dreamed of a move to Hollywood, but were put off by a million-dollar pricetag? Well have I got the deal for you.

For sale is this four-bedroom, three-bathroom family home, located just minutes from the North Hollywood shopping centre, surrounded by “an array of shops, dining and entertainment options”. The property has been “recently updated”, with vaulted ceilings and a “kitchen [that] flows seamlessly into the living and dining areas with a wide and spacious open floor plan”.

Normally a house like that, in a location like this, would sell for well over one million dollars, but this is no normal house. This is the CRYPTO HOUSE, and for very obvious reasons, nobody wants to buy it.

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Originally listed in October 2022 for $1.2 million, a complete lack of interest in the property has seen its asking price plummet to just $949,000 in just a matter of weeks. It’s not just buyers who are shunning the house, either; it’s listed on AirBnB as well, with a vacancy rate of...100%. Whenever you want the place, it’s available, because nobody wants to stay there in the short term either.

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Here is how agents describe the house on property site Zillow:

Incredible opportunity for first-time home buyers, developers, and/or investors. A contemporary 4 bedroom 3 bath home featuring a bonus structure, pool, and spacious outdoor area, perfect for entertaining and relaxing. Situated on a quiet street in a highly desirable pocket of North Hollywood, the home has been recently updated to compliment the large windows and skylights throughout. The primary bedroom features vaulted ceilings while the kitchen flows seamlessly into the living and dining areas with a wide and spacious open floor plan. The bonus structure / 4th bedroom can be converted into an ADU for supplemental income. Ideal family home or income property for savvy investors, this property is primed for the right buyer. Conveniently located near the North Hollywood shopping center, with an array of shops, dining and entertainment options.

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What they’re not mentioning is the fact the house is packed with crypto and NFT stuff splashed across almost every wall, from Bored Ape wallpaper to a bedroom covered in the Doge face. There is even, right next to the kitchen, a huge neon sign that lights up to display the words “Crypto House”.

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There is also a room with prints of tweets all over the walls, and another themed entirely around Bitcoin logos. Oh, and a fireplace that is...metallic purple?

This video by devlytle does a great job of taking us room-by-room:

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A quick look at the property’s sales history shows that it sold in 2016 for $520,000, then in September 2021—presumably to the current owners, who have been renting it out as a “content space”—for $960,000, which was weirdly way over the $885,000 asking price from just a month earlier.

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Photo: Zillow
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Absolutely not.