Conkeldurr Taught Humanity About Concrete 2000 Years Ago

Illustration for article titled Conkeldurr Taught Humanity About Concrete 2000 Years Ago

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Conkeldurr!

Conkeldurr Details

Type: Fighting

Average Height: 4'07"

Average Weight: 191.8 lbs.

First Added In Generation V


I have a lot of questions about this week’s Pokemon, Conkeldurr. Maybe the most pressing questions would be: Why so many veins? Why is this creature so veiny? Why are the veins so large and visible? Really, just a lot of concern about those veins. I started thinking about what would happen if something accidentally clipped one of those veins and I just don’t want to think about that anymore, so I won’t!


Conkeldurr looks a bit old, which is fine. Nothing wrong with a Pokemon with some age, but maybe they need to take rest or vacation. It is explained in the Pokedex that they use those giant concrete pillars as both weapons and walking canes. Impressive! But who is forcing this old person to fight? Hasn’t Conkeldurr earned a retirement yet? According to Bulbapedia, during one fight a rival Pokemon actually took his concrete pillars and used them against Conkeldurr. That seems really mean and shitty.

Illustration for article titled Conkeldurr Taught Humanity About Concrete 2000 Years Ago

Maybe the most interesting thing about this Pokemon is that according to Pokedex entries, Conkeldurr taught humanity about concrete. This raises many questions, though thankfully not vein related. How did this Pokemon teach humans about concrete? Did they come up to humans and point at their big blocks and then point at some rocks and water? Maybe mix their hands around in the air? Or did humans observe a Conkeldurr making these concrete blocks and decide that they should make some of their own concrete? How many other technologies or ideas did humanity steal from Pokemon?

While Conkeldurr might look grumpy or angry even, according to PokePark 2 this Pokemon is a gentle giant and takes care of other Pokemon.


It turns out Conkeldurr is just a chill grandpa with some really disturbing veins.

Favorite Fan Art:

Illustration for article titled Conkeldurr Taught Humanity About Concrete 2000 Years Ago
Illustration: xbluestarxx

Most fan art I found didn’t really focus on the veins, but xbluestarxx decided to go a very different route with their fan art. I hate it! xbluestarxx also hates it, posting this comment alongside her drawing. “No one will ever understand just how much I DESPISE this Pokemon.”

Random Facts:

  • Because of how Pokemon games censor and ban certain words, Conkeldurr’s name prevents it from being traded with other players unless you change its name.
  • It is believed to be inspired by sideshow performers and old people. Not sure why those two things got mixed up in a Pokemon, but here we are.
  • Most Conkeldurrs are male, with only about 25% of them being female.

Best Comment From Last Week:

“I love Croagunk. He’s a chill frog that nature decided was evil and he’s ok with that. You be you, Croagunk.” - InvadingDuck | Zachary D Long


I agree with Zachary, and not just because we share a name. Croagunk gets a bad rap, but he’s just being himself. Don’t change for anyone Croagunk, you are perfect the way you are! Maybe fewer finger stabbings, but other than that, perfect.

Next week, another Pokemon gets their moment in the spotlight. If you have any suggestions for future Pokemon I should cover, let me know in the comments below. Also, share any fanart or stories you have about this week’s Pokemon.

Kotaku Weekend Editor | Zack Zwiezen is a writer living in Kansas. He has written for GameCritics, USgamer, Kill Screen & Entertainment Fuse.

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ConkELdurr, yo. May wanna run this article through Word again and auto-replace that.