Don't try and make sense of Spinal Breakers, a 1990 coin-op game. It's got a story that centres around nuclear war, something called "hildroids" (which look a lot like Nazis to me) and the alteration of the Earth's axis.
What's important is that you play as a man (and walking Michael Biehn tribute) called Captain Waffle.
Captain.
Waffle.
His original escapades in Spinal Breakers are largely forgettable, but his next appearance in a game - yes, there's more than one - is much cooler.
He's a pilot in Aero Fighters 3, aka one of the rarest and most expensive video games of all time.
The stupid name and weird Nazi mutant enemies are of course the result of both games being developed by a Japanese studio, Video System, who sadly went bust a long time ago.
[via Crazy Arcade Flyers]