Now this is odd. I've heard of energy bars and drinks "designed" specifically with gamers in mind, but food? Isn't that called pizza? Not according to Gamer Grub which just announced that they have been named the official snack supplier of the World Cyber Games USA 2008. That means they will be providing their brand of snack-things to the players in the Tournament Area and Player Lounge at E for All in LA this week. Gamer Grub comes in three (atrocious) flavors:Action Pizza: Which is a jar of Pizza Cashews & Pitas, Tomato Sesame Sticks, Tomato Almonds, Cheese Pitas and Mozzarella Peanuts. Racing Wasabi: Which is Wasabi Soy Almonds and Peanuts, Wasabi Peas, Honey Mustard Sesame Sticks and Pita Chips. Strategy Chocolate: Which is Almonds, Chocolate Raisins, Cherries, White Chocolate Chips. and Sports PB&J: Peanuts, Peanut Butter Chips, Strawberry Jelly Chips, Bread Cubes. OK, so I'd be down with checking out Action Pizza and Racing Wasabi, and maybe, maybe the chocolate one. But Bread Cubes and Peanut Butter Chips? Sounds like the business end of a peanut butter and whiskey all-nighter. GAMER GRUB(TM) BECOMES OFFICIAL SNACK SUPPLIER FOR WORLD CYBER GAMES USA 2008 SAN DIEGO, CA – October 2, 2008 – Biosilo Foods today announced that Gamer Grub™ has become the official snack supplier of the World Cyber Games (WCG) USA 2008 (www.wcg.com/usa). Through this partnership, Gamer Grub will supply its great tasting, healthy line of performance snacks to the gamers participating in WCG USA at E for All in Los Angeles, CA from October 3 – 5, 2008. Additionally, Gamer Grub will sponsor the reception for World Cyber Games USA players and VIPs during E for All to honor the top WCG USA competitors that will attend the WCG 2008 Grand Final, held from November 5 – 9, 2008 in Cologne, Germany. “World Cyber Games USA is extremely excited to partner with Gamer Grub and introduce it to America’s and the world’s elite gamers,” said Michael Arzt, general manager of World Cyber Games USA. “We believe that this new innovative performance snack product is a great asset to pro and recreational gamers alike and can become a ‘must-have’ new accessory in the market.” Designed for hungry gamers who want to continue playing games while consuming snacks, Gamer Grub is a great tasting, healthy line of performance snacks. With a patent-pending formulation to support cognitive functions, gamers will have the opportunity to boost core gaming systems and speed reaction times for maximum gaming performance. The ergonomic packaging design maximizes fast-action dispensing of the snack—eliminating the potential of keyboard crumbs and greasy fingers. “We are honored to have this opportunity to become the official snack supplier for WCG USA 2008. We believe we have tapped into a whole new category of peripherals with Gamer Grub and will help gamers reach a new level of performance,” said Keith Mullin, founder and CEO of Biosilo Foods. Gamer Grub is currently offered in four tasty flavors; Action Pizza, Sports PB&J, Racing Wasabi and Strategy Chocolate. Gamer Grub will be available online and at retail stores beginning in 2009. For more information on Gamer Grub, visit www.gamergrub.com. About the World Cyber Games The World Cyber Games (www.WCG.com) is the premier blue chip global video game tournament and festival. First founded in 2000 to promote global harmony through e-Sports, the WCG has grown steadily ever since and often been referred to as the “Olympics of Gaming” by several notable media outlets. Behind the slogan "Beyond the Game" and with more than 1.5 million contestants from over 70 countries expected to participate in this year's Grand Final event in Cologne, Germany, the World Cyber Games has developed into a true global phenomenon with unquestioned prestige and arguably the largest annual prize amounts at stake. Gamer Grub
Wasabi peas, wasabi peanuts, wasabi soybeans, dryroasted salted soybeans, sesame sticks, and rice crackers.
I don't need some ridiculous-looking container, the purchase of which makes me look like a toolbox, to enjoy something food-like while I play, and I sure don't need whatever godawful crap has been done to its contents in the name of 'leet dudeness'.
I could just get all that in 1lb bags from nutsonline.
I REJECT YOUR WORLD, YOU CORPORATE MARKETING HACKS!
'Fast Action Dispensing of Snacks' I bet that's a bulletpoint on the side of that shit, too. I'd fill a canteen with my snack mix and pour it into a cup as needed.
Do they honestly think anyone (who isn't a moron) is going to buy this crap? HURR, LOOK! I AM R LEET DUDER, I EAT GAMR GRUBE!!!111!ONEONE!11
Marketing and general concept aside, their crap sounds absolutely horrific with the possible exception of the 'Racing Wasabi', the labeling of which almost comes off as racist in my mind, like you're supposed to be doing some l33t AZN drift racing while scarfing the shit down. (Could be worse I suppose...maybe they have a special DDR/BEMANI snack mix waiting in the wings.)
But I digress. The short version is: This is stupid, and it makes me FEEL stupid just knowing it exists and that I'm more or less part of their target demographic. I hope the goddamn company has blown so much money on moronic marketing that it craters and burns when this failtastrophe collapses upon itself.
Or maybe I'm just a cynical old man and you all need to get the hell off my lawn.