Angry Birds, Angry Text

Someone needs to "fix" this so the soon to be angry bird starts off in a mailbox. [Reddit]


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>pick up lotion

You pick up the bottle of lotion.

>open cap and squeeze lotion

You hear that familiar sound of a plastic cap popping, turn it upside down, and compress the bottle's sides. The cool, dime-sized mound of lotion hits your dry, cracked and blackened palm. You had hoped that something in that bottle would at least bring a temporary reprieve, like some sort of velvet genie wrapped in an eight-ounce plastic bottle. But there was none. Not even the smell of artificial lavender could neither conjure enough nostalgia to forget your environment at the bottom of an empty well, nor substitute the only two emotions you could feel: hopelessness and sheer terror.

>put lotion in basket

You put the lotion in the fucking basket.