Step Eight: Change His Name To Jon Jones

Despite capturing belts across three different weight classes in this entirely made-up fantasy of mine, clearly, legally becoming Jon Jones is the only way Alex Pereira can cement himself as the pound-for-pound king. Though this isn’t at all the same thing as being the GOAT (no matter what Dana White says), the privilege of simply being Jon Jones seems to go a long way when discussing the greatness of current competitors—inactivity, blatant ducking, and deserving challengers be damned.

Truth be told, the concept of a GOAT itself is as contrived as this scenario I’ve laid out. It’s all cherry-picked stats and storytelling. Nothing proves this more than Dana White’s unwavering devotion to Jon Jones. But to me, that’s what makes sports so compelling: the natural drama that occurs as competitors and spectators alike attempt to make narrative sense out of wins and losses. It’s a joy to witness an athlete like Pereira tap into such authentic gladiatorial theater, especially at a time when hype trains are promoted to fans so relentlessly the whole thing starts to feel like pro wrestling.

My only fear is that looking past Pereira’s current act with Rountree may interrupt the show and come back to haunt me. But only time will tell.

Update: Time told, baby, and I remain un-haunted. AND STILL.