"According To My Supervisor, There Are No Such Things As Portals"

Illustration for article titled "According To My Supervisor, There Are No Such Things As Portals"

Internet funny man David Thorne received an abnormally hefty gas bill earlier this month. He blames two portals, a PlayStation 3 and Prince Adam of Eternia.


Or, he does in this email conversation with the surprisingly up-front Allison Hayes from Aussie gas provider AGL, who first provided Thorne with days of fun before he finished up and shared that fun with the internet.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 16 August 2010 8.12pm
To: sales@agl.com.au
Subject: Ref. 28941739

Dear Sir/Madam,

I have just received an account for the amount of $766.05. Up until this moment, my accounts have, on average, been around the one hundred and sixty dollar mark and I doubt the Holtzman field portal experiments I am conducting in my spare room would account for this discrepancy.

Please correct this error immediately by typing in my reference number, clicking on the alarmingly large number, and moving the decimal point to the left. I don't care how many places.

Regards, David.

From: Allison Hayes
Date: Tuesday 17 August 2010 9.26am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Ref. 28941739

Hello David

I have checked your account and the amount of $766.05 correctly corresponds with your usage of 3262 kWh peak and 1982 kWh off peak for the indicated supply period. I dont know what portal experiments are but perhaps it is why you are using more electricity than previously. Please call our toll free number on 1300 133 245 should you have any further enquiries about your account.

Sincerely, Allison Hayes

That's just the start. She may come across as both stubborn and a little dim, but you have to appreciate Allison's honesty. That and the fact she's a human being, which is more than I can say for most other forms of customer service we have to deal with these days.

Grab a cup of tea and head below for the full thing

[27b/6, thanks Ben!]



Not to spoil the fun, but I'm pretty sure David Thorne is just a character and/or writer