A Week In Comments

Watch The Resident Evil 5 Alternative Edition Trailer
Comment by: Atomsk88
Nominated by: cheesecake000

Come now Chris, if it wasn't for turning cranks, you wouldn't have biceps the size of watermelons. So, ask yourself this, who then would be the one to punch boulders? You and those normal human arms?


L.A. Noire Is Coming Along "Splendidly"
Comment by: Yossarian
Nominated by: mind in rewind

geez, they could have at least answered the question in character...

"I sat back in chair, watched the rain fall against the windows of my decrepit little office and pondered the question.

Sure the fans demanded an answer, but aren't we all just looking for answers?

I came to this town with dreams of making it big, of being somebody, of tackling everything that was wrong with the gaming industry. Now I'm just a beat down has-been, with a development schedule that would make 3D Realms jealous.

I want to stand in the middle of Mullholland and yell out a release date, but nobody would listen anyway. There's no talent, or patience in this town for the empty promises that spew out of my mouth like cheap bourbon that went down the wrong tube.

So what else can I say. It's going like work like this always goes, but I have to keep my chin up. Put on a false air of optimism. Suck it up for the money men that run this show.

Splendid. It is coming along splendidly."

Some Might Call It A Feature, Some Might Call It A Health Warning
Comment by: JoeyJavs
Nominated by: Kobun

so i put that egg in my butt or what?

Talk Amongst Yourselves
Comment by: Showmeyomoves!
Nominated by: Slanzinger

Being a star commenter feels a lot like celebrating Christmas with family.

We're inside talking, having fun, telling jokes and sharing the joy with our fellow commenters and star commenters. Then, we hear a soft tapping on the window pane. We turn to look and see a young boy standing out in the cold, begging to come inside.

"Sir, if you have a moment, maybe you'd like to hear what I have to say?"

With the spirit of Christmas in our hearts, we heartily reply:

"Of course, young man. Come, come!"

Then, as we open the door, we let the young man speak as he shakes the snow off his coat.

"Oh boy, mister. Thanks! I was sure I was going to be ignored forever! I would just like to say that I think Super Street Fighter IV should have been downloadable content as opposed to a full retail release."

We share a few laughs and argue back and forth. The boy eats some Christmas turkey and drinks some hot chocolate. Then, just when he thinks he has finally found a family, grampa Kotaku Writer comes downstairs:

"What's that orphan doing here? Didn't I tell that boy to stay outside?"

And the young man finds himself standing outside in the cold once again, waiting for that time when he will finally be a part of the Kotaku Family.

The End.

No Graphical Complaints From This Wii Developer [UPDATE]
Comment by: phisheep
Nominated by: TheFlyingGerbil

That five trees/four trees line reminds me a lot of what you do with bonsai - it's about making the illusion of more with less. Same goes for origami and ikebana.

I love that as a design approach: accepting the limitations and working within them rather than demanding more - perhaps its the old-school programmer in me coming out.

There does seem to be a trend among Western developers to continue to want to do more with more every time. It's like the perpetual excuse of the bad manager or the bad government that there are 'not enough resources'.

The resources are what they are. The fewer resources you have the greater the scope to exercise your talents as an illusionist and a creator. Any numpty can create something with infinite resource.

Marvellous stuff.

Left 4 Lupus
Comment by: Nudgenudge
Nominated by: bwwardiii

PILLS HE- damn it House, stop looting the items!

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Woah, I am now starred. Thanks, bwwardiii. And the Kotaku team for going with it.

Do we get a collector's ring? A T-shirt that says "I have a star on Kotaku, kneel before me"? Is there a secret cabal where we meet and discuss ruling the world of comments?