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A List Of Weird Names My Kid Calls My Video Games

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You and I, as adults, know to call things by their actual names. My kid is four, and does no such thing.


For reference, he’s been playing some of these systems and games for around 18 months now. Which is why, despite now being a four year-old kid who can actually do a fairly good job of speaking like a human being, he persists with his cute lil’ baby names for the systems and games he was familiar with back then.

They’ve stuck, and I just don’t have the heart to correct him, because there is nothing better in the world than hearing somebody be convinced a game is actually called “Mario Build It”.


Nvidia Shield: “Da Shee-uwd”

iPad: “AH [long pause] pad”

Xbox One: “Exx [long pause] Box”

PS2: “Old Pwaystation”

PS3: “Pwaystation”

PS4: “Daddy’s Pwaystation”

PlayStation Vita: “Little Pwaystation Beetah”

Sega Dreamcast: [puzzled silence]

Nintendo GameCube: “Old Nintendo”

Nintendo GameCube Bongo Drums: “Donkey Kongs”

Nintendo 2DS: “Little Nintendo”

Nintendo 3DS: “Daddy’s Big Little Nintendo”

Nintendo Wii U: “Big Nintendo”

Nintendo Switch: “Zelda”

Mario Kart 8: “Mar-YO Kart”

Super Mario 3d World: “The Mar-YO game”

Super Mario Maker: “Mar-YO Build It”

Yoshi’s Wooly World: “Yoshi’s Wooly Wooly World”

Street Fighter II: “Street Fighters [punches air]”

Disney Infinity: “Fin Finny”

UPDATE Nov 2017:

Super Mario Odyssey: “Mar-YO’s Super Odyssey”

Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle: “Mario Wabbids Gun Game”

UPDATE Nov 2018 (He’s five now):

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate: “Mar-YO Smash Bwuvvers”

The end.

Note: this story was originally published in 2017.