Are you role-playing a Sonic the Hedgehog character—even an extremely minor one—on Twitter? You better tell everyone your account isn't official, otherwise Sega is going to call you out, and turn your colleagues on you, requiring a lot of double-parenthetical out-of-character tweets. And nobody wants that.

The most insane foofaraw involving Sega's official Twitter and ordinary fans boiled up this afternoon when a guy pretending to be Jet the Hawk—that's right, the character who debuted in the 2006 hoverboard-racing spinoff Sonic Riders—endorsed a strange concept for the forthcoming Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed. To wit:

"I would like to suggest Jet riding a bathtub of spaghetti and meat balls accompanied by a mozzarella stick would give players that extra edge they're craving from your games." (illustrated above)

The guy role-playing Jet on Twitter tweeted that to Sega's official account. Rather than laugh it off, it's time to play the Feud!

Jet's reply. Double parentheticals mean the writer is responding out-of-character.

Sega digs in:

And then it's on. Zector the Zone Cop, a character even more insignificant than Jet, pings Sega.

Perhaps realizing the position to which they've staked themselves, Sega replies thusly, to a presumably adult person pretending to be a Sonic the Hedgehog character that has existed only within an Archie Comic book.

Other fans and cosplayers notice the slapfight, and chime in.

Now Tails is upset and wants the bickering to stop.

Meantime, Jet is doing battle with the The Blue Blur himself—though this guy is careful to flag his Twitter account with the (RP) tag that Sega asked for. He accuses Jet of listing his Twitter with the blue checkmark that signifies an official account.

Jet replies:

Sonic then backs off:

Jet extracts an apology from Sonic:

Sega tries to extricate itself with this:

But the coda to this needless psychodrama is supplied by @HipsterMordecai, who reminds everyone that Sega complains about what Nintendon't.