The final verdict is in, and Xbox Live has said no to Zombie Cow Studios' Privates, the "educational" shooter set partly inside a woman's vagina. No hard feelings.

Featuring miniature marines with condoms on their heads destroying sexually transmitted diseases in gigantic reproductions of human reproductive organs, the chances of Zombie Cow's shooter making it onto Xbox Live or the Xbox Indie Games program were slim to none. Now the developer tells us that they've narrowed down their chances to none.

The guys at Xbox have been amazing," said Dan Marshall of Zombie Cow Studios. "They've been really supportive and helpful throughout, but ultimately have advised that the game wouldn't pass the Indie Games Peer Review process, purely due to its inherently sexual nature.

Don't worry though, you can still play with Privates on your PC for free by visiting, or simply watch me play the game and save yourself the trouble.