Vote 2020 graphic
Everything you need to know about and expect during
the most important election of our lifetimes

Kotaku 'Shop Contest: The Worst Final Fantasy VII Announcement: Winners!

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!

During last week's PlayStation Experience event, Square Enix announced a Final Fantasy VII port everyone had hoped was the long-awaited Final Fantasy VII HD remaster. I asked our creative community to imagine a worse Final Fantasy announcement. Such horrors they have wrought in my name.

Advertisement

You'll notice this week's winning entry from good old HundredGunner as an "A" on it. That's because this week's winning entry was a tie. HundredGunner's excellent riff on Advanced Warfare is hilarious, but I couldn't resist the simple charm of The Masters Of Unlocking's entry:

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

Says it all, really.

I've been sifting through entries since early yesterday evening. Now my plan is to take a nap while you folks look through...

This Week's Honorable Mentions

Advertisement

uscg_pa — comment loading, please wait.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

mulled0220 — extra points for making up a fictional tablet device.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

rallyRays — I said worst announcement, not hippest.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

MisterFeeble — because Square Enix MMO announcements are scary.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

unsaved_progress — having trouble seeing how this is bad.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

AsthmaticHamster — you leave Mystic Quest alone, you monster!

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

Cuddly-Cereal — I'd still buy it.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

BoboTheTeddy — seriously you guys, stop imagining products I would buy in a heartbeat.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

Michael L — it's two disappointing things in one!

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

ThtDamnNerd — well it would sure be disappointing to Sony fans.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

UnderhandWriter — because we're making things worse.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

MrDeadScott — actively trying to make us cry.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

bbilbo1 — for comparing spending real money on Aerith to that one Dragon Age character that could run off wearing your DLC armor.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

Anshin — probably the best advice for Final Fantasy VII fans at this point.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

Pottman — now with more virtual Steve Buscemi.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

MagiCow — again, the contest says "Worst".

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

Michael Crider — like this.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

TestZero — Don't even joke about this.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

Ganonthegreat1 — there's just something about this one.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

RedFox — doesn't know the difference between worst and best.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

McFinnipoop — this one feels like a trap for some reason.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

ConallofUlster —Definitely wins the best middle finger award.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

Reynoldo Rosa Urbistondo — this is definitely much, much worse.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

Marusame — Yay, another tech demo!

Advertisement

JJtoob — PEGGLE!

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

PuppetPal — but I kinda want this.

Advertisement

Kaiiela_S — most animated middle finger award

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

osimov — for making an incredibly long post that much longer.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

JustWaitingForAMate —but at least it would be confirmed!

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

Tygore — as the owner of a working 3DO, this pleases me.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

Fizziks — if only.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

Arch Duke Maxyenko — Kinja sees what you did there.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

Sage —the pillow is an excellent touch.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

Velduanga — I would kill for a new Ehrgeiz, actually.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

Poop — poop indeed. v.v

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

ktpx349 — Love SOLDIER's new outfits.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

skyc2re — this pretty much had to be here.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

Barrel_Trollz — Yeah well at least my pants are of uniform length.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

GiantBoyDetective — though I'd probably just copy it to DVD.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

Garlador — everything sad all at once, all for you.

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

OmegaJimes — but we'd all buy that DLC anyway.

and of course...

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

Hundredgunner and...

Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: The Worst iFinal Fantasy VII/i Announcement: Winners!
Advertisement

The Masters Of Unlocking — for the win!

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

funkytrousers
FunkyTrousers28

I don't get why people want a remake, if they like the game that much then why can't they play the one that's already there? graphics don't make the slightest bit of difference, the game plays well even now, just started another play through the other day :3