Now that the Pokémon Go buddy system is widely available, players everywhere are faced with a big decision: who should accompany your walking adventures? I am here to tell you, dear reader, that there is really only one choice.


And that choice is the magnificent Magikarp:

Look at him, that beautiful bastard. After you select Magikarp as your buddy, he appears right next to your avatar. The implication here being that, as you walk, Magikarp dutifully flops next to you, following your lead. Do you know how hard it is to get around like that, when you don’t have actual legs? Magikarp is trying hard AF! Magikarp is doing his best! He wants to grow big and strong, just for you.

Now admittedly actually raising a Magikarp this way is hard work. You get one candy per kilometer, and Magikarp need 400 candies to evolve. That’s a lot of walking, but hey, it’s all going toward a Gyarados. Magikarp, the most heartbreaking and inspirational story of the college football season, is worth it.


As I write this, a bunch of people on social media are picking Magikarp to be their buddy in Pokémon Go. Bless them. Better yet, join them.