Fox announced today that they plan to launch a reboot of 24 without Jack Bauer, which is sort of like Konami making Metal Gear Solid without Hideo Kojima. It’s just not going to work.

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The new series is called 24: Legacy, as EW reports. It’ll star someone named “Eric Carter”—lmao—and they’re looking for a totally new cast to replace Jack, Chloe, and all the other moles who have circulated through 24 over the last glorious decade. Instead of bringing Jack back for more time-defying escapades—or even getting the stellar Yvonne Strahovski to return in her iconic role as Lady Jack from 24: Live Another Day—they’re just rolling the dice on a totally new cast of characters.

NOT COOL, FOX.

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Just read this, via EW:

“There’s also a female co-lead who is a former head of CTU,” said Fox Television Chairman and CEO Dana Walden at the Television Critics Association in Pasadena on Friday. “It doesn’t feel like it is fully replicating the original in terms of how much Jack Bauer carried by himself, but it’s a very prominently featured lead.”

Walden also revealed to reporters there will be a time jump in the show’s storyline and that Legacy will deal with sleeper cells radicalizing Americans. “It’s a new CTU, a new cast of characters,” she said. “It’s a completely different story in terms of the special ops groups that we’re focusing on. It’s a very contemporary feeling story about the potential to activate new sleeper cells in the United States and radicalizing Americans. It’s a whole new story. There are nods in the pilot to prior CTU agents, there are a couple photos that will feel reminiscent of the original, but no ongoing [returning] characters.”

EXECUTIVE 1: “Hey why do people watch 24 again?”

EXECUTIVE 2: “Jack Bauer”

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EXECUTIVE 1: “OK let’s do it without him.”

I will begrudgingly watch this new series—and maybe even recap it for Kotaku, if you guys are lucky—but I’ll be mad about it the whole time.

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You can reach the author of this post at jason@kotaku.com or on Twitter at @jasonschreier.