Did you know that my uncle Billy Rogers used to review arcade games on a public access show that I hope and pray no one watching this video actually believes I want you to think was real? Well, he did! (Seriously, he didn’t.) He had a lot of neat ideas for how Nintendo could have made a great sequel to Mario Bros. Here’s his video review, recovered from 1983.

Billy had some brilliant ideas about the future of Mario, I must say.

The big question (not exactly asked in the video) is “Whoa: should Nintendo legit do a modern Pac-Man CE-like remake of Mario Bros. with ultra-tight esports balance, and online multiplayer?” I sincerely believe the answer is “Probably!” I mean, it’s practically a one-screen, one-on-one MOBA. Think about it. Talk about it.

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A port of the original arcade version of Mario Bros. is available on the Nintendo Switch right now, by the way. It’s $7.99! You can play a heated two-player match on the go! I’ve got it on my Switch, in my backpack. I look forward to my economy class seat-mate on my flight to Chicago next month asking me, “Wait, why can’t I jump on the turtles?”