Sometimes, you look at British newspaper stories about video games and shake your head. And then there are days like this.
The Metro reports that Jason Martin, 41, from Dover, has been jailed for seven years after chomping on a man's penis following a video game dispute earlier this year.
A former (no shit) friend of Martin's had asked him to turn the volume down on his Xbox while playing. A disagreement soon flared up, leading Martin to bite down on the man's penis - through his pyjamas - ‘like a sandwich’. The victim needed stitches.
Oh, and in case that's not painting a vivid enough picture, Martin only has two teeth.
The sentencing judge said of Martin's assault "These were horrendous injuries but you have shown not one flicker of remorse."
"I have no doubt that when you lost your temper you were determined to inflict as much pain and injury as possible."
"You also set out to humiliate him by taking hold of his penis and testicles and gnawing at them."
Oh, so he gnawed at the man's testicles as well? I'm not going to sleep for a week.