World Of Warcraft's Alpacas Are My Best Friends

Illustration for article titled World Of Warcraft's Alpacas Are My Best Friends

Further demonstrating Blizzard’s obvious Horde bias, within an hour of beginning questing in Battle for Azeroth’s new Horde-centric Vol’dun region I’ve ridden in a wagon pulled by the fluffiest alpaca ever, while an adorable little fox creature sang a song about them. I just can’t even.


I encountered the vulpera, the fox-like race introduced in World of Warcraft’s latest expansion, mainly as little critters for my Alliance character to kill, breaking my heart whilst doing so. Following my defection to the Horde, I got to hang around the little critters. Not for long, but long enough to fall in love.

Illustration for article titled World Of Warcraft's Alpacas Are My Best Friends

The vulpera, rumored to eventually become a playable race, were completely hospitable to my tauren Paladin, Salisbury. They welcomed her into their camp and even gifted her with a pet ferret. My favorite vulpera of all, however, is Meerah, the alpaca wagon driver.

Illustration for article titled World Of Warcraft's Alpacas Are My Best Friends

Meerah introduced me to Dolly and Dot, the greatest alpaca in all the land. She loves them a lot, as evidenced by the little diddy she made up while carrying me across the desert sands. Listen to her song, voiced by the incomparable Deva Marie.

My heart melted immediately upon hearing the song. In case you didn’t catch it, here are the lyrics:


“Dolly and Dot are my best friends, they pull my wagon through dunes of sand. They’ve got big teeth and they like to eat ...”

Then she is rudely interrupted by Zandalari troll Jorak. Fortunately for us and the folks on Reddit, Blizzard game designer Julie Palu shared the final line on Twitter.


They are indeed.

The singing of this song is the definitive moment in the Battle for Azeroth expansion for me. Months from now Blizzard could release a new event where the Horde burn the Alliance capital of Stormwind to the ground, and my first thoughts will be, “I sure hope Dolly and Dot weren’t adversely affected by this tragedy.”


And, for the keen-eyed reader who noticed I spoke of my tauren Paladin while the screenshots in this article depict a goblin Rogue, I paid Blizzard $30 for a faction change, just so I could record the song for posterity.

Kotaku elder, lover of video games, keyboards, toys, snacks, and other unsavory things.



I don’t care how many magical elf goddesses or whatever it has, World of Warcraft is now officially the most realistic game of all time, as it’s the only one I know of which depicts the incredibly true-to-life practice of making up random little songs about your pets and singing to them. You all do it, stop lying.

Blizzard please cancel your Warcraft movie sequel and make a new one starring Meerah and her alpacas. You will make thirty billion dollars.

Bonus Alpaca song content: