The latest patch notes for The Witcher 3 state that CD Projekt Red fixed an issue where “a noblewoman in red would sometimes follow Geralt everywhere he goes.” But while this bug may not plague players anymore, the internet never forgets.
FudgeRevolution captured footage of this maddening glitch in action, and you can see it below:
The thing that makes this so funny is, the woman would perpetually clap her hands and yell “long live the champion,” making it seem like Geralt accrued an overzealous stalker. And no matter how much Geralt ran away, the lady would always dash after him, reminding him of how awesome he was:
Noble Lady could somehow also keep up with you while riding Roach:
Noble Lady would even stay put if Geralt meditated for hours. Worse, Noble Lady was completely invincible—there was no way to get rid of her:
Noble Lady didn’t care. Through hell and high water, she had but one mission: to keep cheering Geralt on, forever and ever amen.
It’s a glitch that sounds fantastic in theory, but my heart goes out to the poor players who actually had to deal with this annoyance for an extended period of time. And also Noble Lady herself, who showed us the true meaning of love. RIP, Noble Lady.
I’m kind of sad this glitch has been scrubbed out, though, because I can’t help but wonder if she would keep cheering in the background during sex scenes. Now we’ll never know.