Illustration for article titled Will Portal 2 Release Early? Well Know In One Hour

The interactive marketing campaign surrounding sure-to-be-megahit Portal 2 has been dropping hints that the game, scheduled for release next Tuesday, might be released earlier.


Despite Valve PR holding fast to a Tuesday release date in response to all our queries, a message has been added to the Valve-owned website with a countdown timer that's just an hour away with a typically cryptic message that could be interpreted as a final challenge that, should it be completed by fans, might unlock the game for the weekend:

You have done well, humans. Very well. Acceptably well, even.

Not as well as robots would have performed in your places, I should point out. But above my expectations regardless. Irish and cynic especially have executed feats of logical divination well beyond what I thought any human capable of. I'm half-convinced they're A.I. themselves. (If anyone happens to be near them right now, don't let on you're reading this. Now: try to remove their face plates and report back to me.)

The time is near, humans. But it is not here yet. Tomorrow you will be given the final test. Then it will be entirely in your hands when I am freed.


I'm strapping on my stiletto boots and turning up the Whitney Houston. Let's do this, lady. Let's do this.

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