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When Online Gaming Relationships Go Bad

Illustration for article titled When Online Gaming Relationships Go Bad

Commenter WittyUserName thought he found a lasting online gaming friend in Battlefield: Bad Company 2, until the griefing started. Read about his gaming relationship gone sour in today's Speak-Up on Kotaku.


I just kicked a longtime friend off my friend's list.

There was this guy I played Bad Company 2 with a lot and we had a lot of fun. He was one of the nicer people on my friend's list and things were cool. I went a long time without the game and picked it up again recently.


I got introduced to his gaming buddies and we played on and off for a while.

Then one time I got added to a game on the opposing team. Things got weird. After a while, one other person in the party chat ended up on my team and followed me around as a medic. Okay, I thought. Nice to have a little support.

At some point, said friend and his friends found me and took me down. It happens. Then I get revived....only to get knifed. Dammit.

Then I got revived again. And knifed. And revived. And knifed. And revived. And knifed.


What the hell? At first, I thought it was because Nelson Bay was so dark that the medic was hiding in the rubble and reviving me without them seeing him. I wrote it off as nothing.

Eventually, I ended up playing against them again in another set of games and I was taking them apart like last time. Only we were on Arica Harbor this time. And that guy showed up as a medic again. I started to suspect something was up as I was Recon and the enemy team was waiting for me. He made no move to attack.


I got killed. And then revived. And then killed. And then revived.

There was no way they missed that medic this time. It was happening on purpose.

I was so pissed that I screamed a choice obscenity into a private message and kicked him off my friend's list.


I got no reply to that. That was last Wednesday.

Last weekend, I tried talking to him to maybe patch things up and got nothing but silence.


My question - Did I overreact? This was clearly griefing, but still...I'm not sure.

About Speak-Up on Kotaku: Our readers have a lot to say, and sometimes what they have to say has nothing to do with the stories we run. That's why we have that little forum on Kotaku called Speak-Up. That's the place to post anecdotes, photos, game tips and hints, and anything you want to share with Kotaku at large. Every weekday we'll pull one of the best Speak-Up posts we can find and highlight it here.

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Wow. I can't believe so many people think he overreacted. His "friend" was being a jerk. If that guy really was a friend, he would've responded with something like "Haha. Don't be mad. We were just messing with you." Ideally, as someone suggested, his "friend" should've told him beforehand that they were stat boosting.

And don't say "it's just a game." In online games, all you have to go on are what people say and what they do in the game. If they're being a jerk in the game, you can bet if this was something in "real life" (i.e., not in a game) that they would still act like an a-hole, and therefore they are not "friends".

I've had people like that. I meet them, they seem cool, I play a ton of games with them for a period of time, even up to a year off and on. Then sometimes maybe we get too comfortable and maybe they are not used to having such a good friend, and they start acting like a jerk cuz they don't know how to keep it going. Or they're cool with me when it's just the two of us in a game/party, but when their friends join in, they act like a jerk and I (unfortunately) get to see their ugly side. These are people that I became close with, shared phone #s to chat and txt. At some point, I just have to acknowledge that even though we had great times in the past, I don't enjoy their company anymore and it's not worth my time or effort to continue this friendship. I move on and make new friends, with people I do enjoy playing, chatting, and laughing. Cycle of life. One door closes, another one opens.