SteamedSteamed is dedicated to all things in and around Valve’s PC gaming service.  

“You know all those times your parents said video games would get you nowhere? They were right.”

Last week, I spoke with the creator of the Shittalk Generator, a crowdsourced effort to create sick (read: actually decent) burns that can be automatically queued up in games like Counter-Strike, DOTA 2, and Team Fortress 2. I’ve been keeping an eye on it ever since, and I have to say, people have cooked up some pretty wicked insults. Here are my favorites:

  • “Team Fortress 2 is also Free-To-Uninstall.”
  • “If the body is 70% water how are you 100% salt???”
  • “Don’t worry guys, I’m a garbage collector. I’m used to carrying trash.”
  • “You have worse map awareness than Christopher fucking Columbus.”
  • “Are you aiming for a pacifist playthrough?”
  • “I bet you’re that guy that dies in the tutorial.”
  • “Your kills are like all Valve franchises, stuck at 2.”
  • “How are you this bad at support? Do you work for Comcast?”
  • “Your aim is so poor Bono is holding a charity concert for it.”
  • “95% of lag occurs between the player and the computer”
  • “You should let your chair play, at least it knows how to support.”
  • “you camp more than Bear Grylls.”

There are also some gravely bad ones, but that goes with the territory of letting anybody submit stuff. As ever, a reminder: shit-talking people you’re playing with/against can be super fun, but if they’re not on board with it (that is to say, giving as good as they get/obviously having a decent time), probably don’t be a dick. Or, as Shittalk Generator creator Davis Ford said to me:

“Shittalking ends when it gets personal. That tends to happen in tight-knit competitive communities; people call each other fat, ugly, whatever. That’s no fun. I’d rather have you describe my butthole as a gaping cavern that squirrels nest in, you know? Something light-hearted.”

Image credit: Getty.

You’re reading Steamed, Kotaku’s page dedicated to all things in and around Valve’s wildly popular PC gaming service. Games, culture, community creations, criticism, guides, videos—everything. If you’ve found anything cool/awful on Steam, send us an email to let us know.

To contact the author of this post, write to nathan.grayson@kotaku.com or find him on Twitter @vahn16.