Tips For Playing Desert Golfing

Desert Golfing is one of the best mobile games I have ever played. It is also one of the worst. You too will love it, and you will also hate it. To make sure you show it more love than hate, though, I thought I'd put together some tips.


If you haven't played the game yet, here are the basics: you're playing golf in an endless desert. You shoot the ball like you'd shoot something in Worms/Angry Birds. When you get it in the cup, the screen scrolls to the right, revealing the next hole. And there is always a next hole. There is also always a score. There are no pars in Desert Golfing, just the gradual accumulation of every shot you take, over dozens and then hundreds of holes.


This is the single most important thing you need to remember. Being a game with no restarts, no do-overs and no easy mode, there will be times while playing Desert Golfing that you might feel tempted to crush your phone to death. Using your teeth. Usually when stuck on a super tough hole (or even shot), seeing your score - which cannot be changed, and will bear the marks of your failure forever - go up and up and up.

When this happens to you - and it will happen - remember a few things. Firstly, nobody else will care that it took you 25 shots to clear a hole. This is not a game that rewards ability. It's a game whose players respect endurance, and persistence, even in the face of adversity.

Secondly, this is a long game. Things will average out. It once took me 23 shots to get through a hole, which you'd think would be murder on my average, but I then went and hole-in-onned the next four in a row. You'll find that over the course of hundreds of holes, your triumphs will cancel out your failures.

Illustration for article titled Tips For Playing Desert Golfing


Some holes are as simple as a flat expanse of sand. Others are complex masses of peaks and valleys. When facing the latter, don't just try and whack it in the cup right away. Approach it in steps. If there's a hill in front of you, clear it first. Then the next. And, for reasons I'll explain next, be very careful when there's a downward slop at the end of a hole.


Whatever you do, don't ever hit the ball off the screen. This will only cost you a single shot, but it'll drop the ball back on the tee, which on a tricky hole (one that you've had to chip away at for 5-10 shots), this can be the equivalent of dying and being sent back to a checkpoint before a boss fight.


Here's a little tip, one that Trials players might find familiar: you can "bunny hop" the ball up gentler slopes so long as you keep the ball's speed and trajectory low. This won't be useful that often, but on some of the more nightmarish holes it might be better to use 3-4 shots getting up a single hill than 9-10 continually over-shooting it.



Sometimes, the Desert Golfing Gods will smile on you, and you'll get a relatively simple course that looks like you can just putt it in. Which you can. The best way to putt in the game is to drag the arrow "through" the ground, which will keep the ball on the deck. Putting can also be a smart way to navigate downward slopes in the middle of trickier courses, since it's less prone to cruel bounces.



Desert Golfing is a wildly unpredictable game if all you're looking at is the course design. The game's shot power and terrain, however, remain constant, so take advantage of this. Try and memorise how far a shot will travel if you drag your finger a certain length. Remember that the sand remains the same and will always react the same to the ball.

And when all else fails? Please scroll back up and consult the section titled RELAX.


If you're playing, have you got any tips you'd wanna share? Leave them below!



Remember, that above all else, you are alone in this game and in the universe. Enjoy the existential dilemma and embrace the solitary misery.