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This Stop-Motion Donkey Kong Is Almost Better Than The Real Thing

There's a clarity to this version of the Donkey Kong arcade game that the original arcade cabinet just can't match. Something about using thousands of perler beads instead of sprites, I'd imagine.

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GuizDP, who you might remember from his stunning rendition of one guy playing five guys playing the Tetris theme on guitar, proves once again that he has entirely too much time on his hands. This video is the end result of a ton of bead affixing and some 1,500 photos, strung together to create a game cycle that's much shorter than I remember it being. I guess time goes by more slowly when you are eight.

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DISCUSSION

I'm confused about Pauline. Hear me out.

So Donkey Kong takes Pauline, and Mario sets out to save her. Pauline has to be Grade-A quality girlfriend for Mario (AKA Jump Man) to risk fighting against literal fire, barrels, obscene obstacles, and of course, a giant monkey. Upon clearing the game, Mario is clearly in love and happy to have his Pauline back.

Now, if Pauline was so worth saving, what the hell happened to her? Mario dumps her like a bad habit for a princess, and maybe Pauline falls into drug addition and prostitution or something. Maybe that's why she never shows up again. But why? Why did Mario leave her? Or did she leave him first?

What do you all think?