Fire Emblem Heroes is a lot of things—a horny casino, a frustrating free to play racket, and a surprisingly complex addition to the lineage of the Fire Emblem’s tactical RPG series. It’s also a bona-fide gallery of looks I wanna cop. Here are some of the best ones.
Fire Emblem has long had a love affair with thigh high boots. They’re on everyone, regardless of gender, and they all kind of look like variations on 2016 era Rihanna. They are never more pronounced than on Camilla, a character introduced in Fire Emblem: Fates.
Looking closely at Camilla’s outfit is like staring at a Magic Eye, but bear with me. Those boots don’t end at the knee, nor is she wearing leather leggings. These boots go all the way up to her crotch, and she’s wearing a bikini bottom instead of pants. Every character in the Fates’s kingdom of Nohr is over designed—the more evil you are, the more spikes and embellishments you have on your armor apparently—but Camilla’s outfit is astounding. Every time you think it’s going to do something sensible, it defies expectations. What’s up with that half a metal skirt? Why does she have a strap between her breasts? It looks like something an early 2000s Lil’ Kim would wear and I love it.
Fire Emblem: The Blazing Blade’s Florina is on the opposite end of the the thigh high boots spectrum. Where Camilla’s boots make her look like a dominatrix, Florina’s make her look like a french school girl. The Pegasus Knight is dressed in a blue dress and a white tunic over it, with a breast plate and shoulder pads. In early Fire Emblem games, “dress, shoulder pads and thigh high boots,” was a pretty common uniform, but the art Florina has in Heroes add some texture to the boots and makes the skirt of her dress pleated. It’s pretty trendy for IRL 2017. The blue of her dress and boots are a strong, bright jewel tone, and her white tunic has a very open, flowing feel. It’s not quite a shift dress or a skater dress, but it’s still in that light, breezy style that’s become ubiquitous over the past year.
The dudes are a lot more boring. Taking their cues from Marth, who looks he scored a walk on role in a low budget Lord of the Rings play, they tend to be a bit generic. But there are still some standouts. Laslow has a pretty pure fantasy look, but I’m really into it. It’s more Errol Flynn than Aragorn, and it’s a lot of fun. The quilted sleeves bring to mind a Disney prince, but the shirt isn’t tucked in, and his cape is torn. He’s disheveled and rakish, like he’ll save your town from bandits, but also steal your girlfriend.
Like Florina’s design for Heroes, there are some touches on Laslow that seem really modern. He’s wearing over-the-knee boots, but up to the ankle they looks like a loosely tied desert boot. The lavender grey of his pants feel like a washed out skinny jean. He’s, dare I say it, a little hispter-y. When I’m next in Brooklyn, I’ll have to keep an eye out for dudes accessorizing with huge swords and armored shoulder guards.
Navarre, who made his first appearance in Shadow Dragon and the Blade of the Light, the first Fire Emblem game, gets a bit of a makeover for Heroes. Over the years his color scheme has shifted from black and pale blue to black and red, and while he’s usually wearing some kind of tunic over pants, it varies in lengths and styles. In some games he looks like a generic fantasy knight, and in others he wears something more like a Chinese changshan.
In Heroes it looks more like a changshan than a tunic, and it might be my favorite outfit in the game. It’s a bright, ruby red with beautiful black embroidery all over it, the delicacy contrasting with his rugged brown boots and enormous grey belt. His deadliness is contrasted by a soft, almost feminine style—he looks a bit like Hotohori from seminal shoujo anime Fushigi Yuugi, which was an excessive, melodramatic tale of mythical Chinese warriors and star crossed lovers. What I’m saying is: low key, he’s the sexiest dude in this game. Between the long, flowing hair and the semi-sheer body stocking peaking out from his sleeves, there’s a real romantic quality in his look.
What are your favorite looks from the game, dear readers? What are your least favorite? And please, tell me how you’d fix poor Marth.