The In-N-Out Burger Pie Is Wrong On Many Levels

Packed with famous burgers,cheese, fries, more cheese, sauce, grilled onions and some cheese, one slice of Foodbeast’s In-N-Out Burger Pie contains roughly all of the calories, but that’s not the worst part.

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The worst part is that I live in the Southeast and haven’t had the chance to taste an In-N-Out burger since I went to Los Angeles for E3 1999. Sure I’ve been out West plenty of times since then, but I’m generally too busy working to enjoy the raw materials of this great and terrible thing.

One might say my geographical location has saved my life. I kinda want to punch that one in the nose for saying it.

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Contact the author at fahey@kotaku.com or follow him on Twitter at @bunnyspatial

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DISCUSSION

hand-banana
hand-banana

Mike, if you seriously need to taste In-N-Out, it’s not too hard to get close enough at home. Born and raised in California 5 minutes from one, you can all trust that I know what In-N-Out tastes like. The distinctive flavor of In-N-Out it seems to me comes from the interesting juxtaposition (oh god I’m sorry I did debate in high school) of the bitterness of the heavily charred patties and the creamy smoothness of the American cheese (all my hipster friends eschew American cheese because it seems so basic but don’t mess with this). So my trick for making burgers like this is to get the patties as thin as possible—I just ball up a little beef and smash it into a patty (well, two) on the grill. If you smash it super thin, you lose juice, but the crust-to-meat ratio is much higher and you get that charred In-N-Out taste that works so well with the sweet Thousand Island and the milky American cheese. Then just add your tomato, onion, lettuce and whatnot. You’ll be surprised how close you get.