Teddiursa Is Always Sticky

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Image: The Pokemon Company / Kotaku

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Teddiursa!

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Teddiursa Details

Type: Normal

Average Height: 2' 00”

Average Weight: 19.4 lbs

First Added In Generation II


A few mornings ago, I had a big breakfast and covered it in some maple syrup. Then for the next couple of hours, my hands felt sticky. I washed them and still, I found sticky spots. Do you know what else possesses this annoying trait? Honey. Today’s Pokemon, Teddiursa, knows this all too well, considering it spends much of its day sucking its own paws that are forever coated in sweet, sweet honey.

Teddiursa is a teddy bear-like Pokemon creature that loves honey, just like that other famous animated bear. You know the one. Smokey Bear. And according to Pokedex entries listed on Bulbapedia, this love of honey has led to a *WINKS* sticky situation. Because it eats so much honey, its paws have absorbed a lot of the sticky, sweet stuff and it is forever cursed to have paws that taste really good. This leads to it sucking on said tasty paws whenever it has some free time.

With extremely sticky paws, comes another problem: stuff sticking to them. I imagine after a few days Teddiursa’s paws are just covered in sticks, leaves, bugs, flowers, blades of grass, acorns, and whatever else it comes across while out in the woods. A future Pokemon game should use this and give Teddiursa the ability to fling random small objects during battles. (There you go Game Freak. Free idea. Happy Holidays.)

Random Facts

  • So here’s a strange fact that appears in a few Pokedex entries: “Every set of paws tastes unique.” Uh... hey, how do you know that? Who went around licking the paws of these bears?
  • I can’t stop thinking about that last fact. Who decided this was a vital piece of information? And again, how was this learned? Did some creepy dude just start catching Teddiursas by the truckload and licked all their paws?
  • Why was this allowed and who thought it was a good idea to publish his research?
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Best Comment From Last Week

“Presumably to cover its breasts. Which really only raises more questions.”

-Legless Legolas’ LEGO Lass

I don’t have to tell you all, but boy, Pokemon is weird.

Previously On Here’s Another Pokemon

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Here’s Another Pokemon is a weekly look into one Pokemon and how weird, disturbing, silly, or cool it is and why. Catch new entries each weekend and click here to see all of the past Pokemon we have covered.

DISCUSSION

By
Learn2Fly

Because it eats so much honey, its paws have absorbed a lot of the sticky, sweet stuff and it is forever cursed to have paws that taste really good.

Me too bitch, you’re not special.