The Beginner's Guide Creators' New Game Is About Keanu Reeves Stabbing People

“Welcome player. It’s a fucking video game. Get your stats ready,” Absolutely: A True Crime Story begins. Then it asks you to boost one of your starting character’s stats like strength, dexterity, or something called J3V. None of these stats matter: the browser game is just a random, nihilistic parody. But it’s funny,…

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