McDonald's is releasing "vintage" style American burgers in fries in Japan as part of a limited time promotion. The fries—called "Classic Fries with Cheese"—look icky.

Earlier today Burger King revealed the ridiculously-tagged Satisfries, a new crinkle-cut potato product that's lighter and leaner than the competition. As it turns out, they are not the saddest fries. They might be the best fast food fries going.

Burger King has unveiled Satisfries, a new potato product aimed at making people feel better about eating them using percentages and downward-pointing arrows. I feel healthier already. Thanks, numbers and arrows! Find out more here, while I prepare for a short road trip to see if they're the saddest fries.

Anyone can open up a package and devour the contents, or order an item off a grease-smeared backlit plastic menu. The true connoisseur knows that the most transcendent snacking experience lies away from those convenient, often slippery beaten paths.