Crime is a constant feature of video games writing. Somewhere, someone is doing something illicit with them—sometimes comically stupid, sometimes tragic. Games and consoles are currency, objects of dispute, sometimes even weapons themselves. Kotaku's Police Blotter is here to round up the latest in games crime.

Some cletus down in Arkansas opines that Microsoft has to pay him $500 billion because it didn't answer, in writing, a mailing designed to not get a written response to his demands for $500 billion.