South Park's Newest DLC Is Dull And Dreary

Illustration for article titled South Park's Newest DLC Is Dull And Dreary

The second of South Park: The Fractured But Whole’s two big expansions launched today, and just like the first one, it adds a new area, class, and buddy to the show’s perverse version of Colorado. Bring the Crunch is a bit longer than March’s From Dusk Till Casa Bonita, although it’s not nearly as fun.


Longtime South Park fans may have wondered why Bradley Biggle, aka Mint-Berry Crunch, was nowhere to be found in Fractured But Whole. According to the show’s canon, he’s the only member of Coon and Friends—a group of kids pretending to be superheroes—who’s actually a superhero. So it was strange not to see him in Ubisoft’s video game when it came out last year. News of DLC revolving around Mint-Berry Crunch may have given hope to hardcore South Park fans that they’d get to find out Bradley’s deal and maybe even see his home planet, which was teased at the end of the memorable Coon trilogy in 2010.

The good news is that Bradley returns and joins your party in Bring the Crunch, complete with his mint and berry powers (which are, respectively, buffs and debuffs). The bad news is that Bring the Crunch has very little to do with Bradley or his homeworld of Kokujon—it’s set entirely within an abandoned summer camp for handicapped kids called Lake Tardicaca. It’s basically a horror film, complete with druggies in monster masks and dead counselors. The new class you get, “Final Girl,” is based off a horror movie cliché—the lady who uses her wits and craftiness to be the last person standing.

I’ve played through most of the DLC, and it’s full of dumb jokes and silly throwbacks (hope you like being told not to go down that road), but not nearly as entertaining as the main game or even its first DLC. Bring the Crunch has more side quests than Casa Bonita did, but its battles are thoroughly uninteresting—it even repeats a boss fight from Fractured But Whole. The puzzles are tedious (move object -> set object on fire -> repeat) and the Final Girl’s abilities—which revolve around saws and hammers—aren’t clever enough to keep this new DLC’s battles from feeling monotonous.

Casa Bonita’s sopapillas and diving pools made for a far more delightful atmosphere than Bring the Crunch’s bloody summer camp. The dialogue feels off, too—the majority of enemies are druggies wearing monster masks who have very little to say but variations on “I’m on crack.” Bring the Crunch makes for an underwhelming expansion that probably should’ve just taken a trip to the Berry Mines.



Honestly, I was disappointed by The Fractured But Whole in its entirety. I’m an unabashed South Park fan, and absolutely adored The Stick of Truth, but TFBW felt joyless, soulless, and just...I dunno, not fun.

I eventually forced myself to get all the way through it, and I’m glad I did, but I wonder how much of my disappointment is an outgrowth of the fact that no matter what Obsidian did with the sequel, they’d never have another “Canada” moment.

Perhaps it’s just another indication that, as Parker and Stone have intimated many times within the show itself, South Park is fast becoming a parody of itself.

Whatever the case, I’m sorry the new DLC doesn’t help to alleviate the game’s problems—but I cannot say I’m surprised, either.

(Oh, and for what it’s worth, Kenny McCormick also has “super powers,” he’s just not a formal super hero in the same way that Crunch is.)