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Sonic And The Black Knight Isn't A Bad Dream

Illustration for article titled Sonic And The Black Knight Isnt A Bad Dream

Yes, Nintendo Power spilled the beans on Sonic and the Black Knight for the Wii, but they aren't official beans until Sega says so, and...Sega has said so. The whole sword thing seems ridiculous until you realize that Sonic and the Black Knight is the next game in what they are calling the storybook series, which started with Sonic and the Secret Rings. Storybook land can explain away many a silly concept.

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"After the success of Sonic and the Secret Rings we're delighted to announce a second title in the Storybook Series," said Gary Knight, European Marketing Director, SEGA Europe, "Following Sonic on his way to knighthood will excite players of all ages."

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The game is due out in Spring of 2009, giving the writers of the "Seven Rings In Hand" theme song plenty of time to swap out the lyric "Seven rings in hand, speed through nights with feet in sand" to "Seven rings in hand, speed through knights with sword in hand." We will NEVER escape this song.

Illustration for article titled Sonic And The Black Knight Isnt A Bad Dream

SEGA ANNOUNCES SONIC AND THE BLACK KNIGHT

A new addition to the Storybook Series of Sonic Titles

SAN FRANCISCO & LONDON (July 21, 2008) –SEGA of Europe Ltd. and SEGA® of America, Inc. today announced Sonic™ and the Black Knight, an all-new Wii-exclusive adventure. Part of the storybook series of games that began with Sonic and the Secret Rings, this new title brings Sonic into the world of Arthurian legend and offers the worlds most infamous blue hedgehog the chance to become a knight. Using the unique Wii control system, this exciting game will take advantage of both the Wii Remote and the Nunchuk to offer an interactive experience that any Sonic fans will love.

Created by Sonic Team in Japan, this innovative game takes Sonic into a medieval world and arms him with a sword to aid in his effort to save the day. Sonic and the Black Knight will provide Sonic fans with an irresistible cast of characters and teach them all what it takes to be a true hero and the ultimate knight. With a series of missions taking place in stunning Arthurian-inspired locations, Sonic and the Black Knight promises to offer a fast-paced adventure that gamers of all ages will enjoy.

"After the success of Sonic and the Secret Rings we're delighted to announce a second title in the Storybook Series," said Gary Knight, European Marketing Director, SEGA Europe, "Following Sonic on his way to knighthood will excite players of all ages."

Sonic and the Black Knight, exclusively for the Wii, will be out in Spring 2009.

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DISCUSSION

While I may have been irritated by Sonic's beast form, 'tis only a flesh wound compared to this. You know, when I was playing Sonic on the old Sega at my friend's house (like I would own a non-Nintendo system then?), staring at the whizzing flashing images of that blue blur that Blast processing was shining into my eyes, I couldn't help but think as I fell into yet another seizure "You know, this really needs more humans and swords."

Unfortunately young people are idiots and they apparently find the time when not penning fiction stories involving Sonic and Tail's trysts in the solitude of the forest to write stories for Sonic games. Kids are dicks Sega. Don't write lame spinoffs for them. Make all those spiteful 30 year old dudes happy. Drop stupid shit like this.

(Swords are lame anyway. Whips forever!)