Six Dead or Alive 5 Fighters Looking Depressed and Humbled After Defeat

There's lots of crazy, over-the-top elements in the just-released Dead or Alive 5. Clown cannons, giant elevators of death and tanks blasting away in he background… all these things happen while the brawlers of Team Ninja's latest fighting game are vying for victory. And you can't win all the martial arts matches all the time.


Here's how it looks when some of DOA5's characters wind up down for the count, captured by Kotaku's own Chris Person. Pro tip for Brad, pictured above: Maybe fighting and drinking isn't really working out for you.


Rig looks like he's bowing before his attacker's superior prowess. Or doing push-ups to get psyched for a rematch. C'mon, man. You're the new guy. Rouse yourself and kick that guy's ass.


Inside Armstrong's head: "Why did I agree to another one of these tournaments? Jeez, that really hurt. My insurance may not even cover this!"


Kokoro doesn't look hurt so much as badly out of breath after her loss. Some more roadwork should get your endurance right up, ninja warrior. And, hey, at least those cherry blossoms look pretty.


Eliott looks depressed in a vaguely emo way. I think he's going scribble some bad poetry into his diary when he gets home later.


Zack? He just looks like he got kicked in the unmentionables. Take your time getting up, dude.

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Seriously, of all things that stand out about the losing poses, It's got to be the girls. Even by DOA standards, many of their losing poses get really friggin' softcore. The dripping sweat, the heavy breathing... the convenient camera angles. How do I play this with and/or in front of friends and family?! I find it more comfortable to pop in Xtreme 2.

Ya know what Team Ninja? Just make a damn adult dating sim already. You'll make millions and we'll finally find an appropriate time to play your games.