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'Shop Contest: Palpatine Deserves To Be Everywhere

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Dice have decided that Emperor Palpatine is too powerful, so they have removed him from the game until he can be brought down to normal human power levels. That dude’s a Sith lord, though, so he should be powerful. And he should also be everywhere.

I have a lot of love in my heart for the cackling jackass that is Emperor Palpatine. As a child, I had literally zero idea what his motivation was, why he was so evil, and what the hell this weird wrinkly magician was doing in a star war in the first place. As an adult, I guess I know it had to do with trade regulations and the Senate and some other stuff, but I honestly don’t care. What I care about is putting Emperor Palpatine everywhere.

This week’s ‘Shop Contest is about putting Palpatine in games, movies, music videos, books (???) and anywhere else you can jam him. If he can’t be in Battlefront II, then he should be in literally every single other location in this galaxy and the one far, far away.

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This week is a little different. Since I am asking such a specific thing from you, I am including a handy transparent .PNG for your Palpatine-editing convenience. You don’t have to use this image, of course, so if you have a favorite closeup shot from Return of the Jedi, feel free to jam that into a dating sim (free idea y’all).

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As always, good luck, and I will be choosing a winner and some honorable mentions next Saturday.

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The rest of the instructions are below.

How To Upload Images — Instructions

1. Create your ‘Shop and save it to your desktop. Images must be at least 636 pixels wide.

2. Go to the bottom of this post

3. This brings up a comment window. Click “Choose file” if you’re uploading your ‘shop from your desktop

4. Alternatively, you can upload the ‘Shop to a free image hosting service. I suggest imgur. Then paste the image’s URL into the field that says “Image URL.” Note: this must be the URL of the image itself, not the page where it is displayed. That means the URL ends in .jpg, .gif, .png, whatever.

5. Add editorial commentary and hit submit and your image will load. If it doesn’t, upload the image to imgur and paste the image URL as a comment. I will look at it.

6. Large-size images may not upload properly, though we have seen some animated .gifs upwards of 5 MB. If you’re still having trouble uploading the image, try to keep its longest dimension (horizontal or vertical) under 1000 pixels, or the whole thing under 2 MB.