Robert Pattinson, sparkly telepathic vampire that he is, loves Final Fantasy VII’s Tifa. Or is it Aerith? No, no, it’s definitely Tifa. But that Aerith…
Fresh off the heels of two GQ cover stories in as many years, Pattinson (the guy who nabbed second billing in a Chris Nolan film despite not remotely understanding the script) is in full press junket mode to promote this week’s The Batman, in which he plays Bruce “I’m, uh, I’m not the Batman” Wayne, alongside Zoë Kravitz’s Selena Kyle. The two sat down for an interview with French talk show Clique, where Pattinson went long on one of gaming’s great love triangles.
“I thought I was in love … with Aeris. And Tifa! Everybody wants Tifa,” said Pattinson, a man who filmed five movies based on the Twilight novels’ uniquely fucked-up love triangle but could barely keep a straight face through the process. “It’s the two sides, the two options. It’s a love triangle.”
Pattison then explained how Aeris is sometimes spelled Aerith, depending on the translation or the version of the game. (In 2020’s Final Fantasy VII Remake, it’s “Aerith.”) He then detailed why his heart was torn between Aeris and Tifa, saying that Aeris is “the really kind girl who has superpowers and can heal everyone and make the world a better place,” while describing Tifa as “this sexy little thing … a thief in this short skirt.”
Pattinson wrapped up by spoiling Final Fantasy VII’s legendary twist, which happened 25 years ago so we don’t need to put a spoiler warning. “Aeris, right at her peak, gets killed! This is how every guy figures out what love is,” he said.
“This is crazy,” Kravitz said, laughing. “The one that’s gonna heal everything or the one in the short skirt? These are the options? Oh, my god, this is the problem with the world!”
Listen to Zoë Kravitz, for she is wise.