Realistic Mario Is A Remorseless Killer

"You didn't just jump on a Koopa. You jumped on Gary. Gary Rivers." R.I.P, Gary Rivers. May your passing serve as a reminder of what a cold-blooded murderer Pete Holmes' Realistic Mario is.


After getting his brother killed and getting ripped apart by a dinosaur, it's no wonder Mario doesn't pay attention to what or who he's jumping on or setting fire to. It's a wonder he goes outside at all.

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I can't decide whether I like Pete Holmes or hate him. Sometimes he'll have a good pre-produced thing like this, but I can't stand to listen to him live and he has a tendency to go all screamy and yelly which is real comedy killer for me. It's like he thinks saying something really loud makes it funnier.

Ok, I've decided. I genuinely dislike Pete Holmes, but at least a couple of his writers for his show are pretty good as long as he doesn't botch the delivery too bad.

Now that that's settled, on to world peace.