Raise a Glass of Pabst Blue Ribbon to the Savior of the Twinkie

Illustration for article titled Raise a Glass of Pabst Blue Ribbon to the Savior of the Twinkie

The rain has subsided, the clouds slowly dissipate and the forecast for this summer is golden-yellow sponge cake with creme filling, as private equity firms Apollo Global Management and Metropoulos & Co confirm a $410 million winning bid for the Hostess brand.

After failing to pull clear of bankruptcy in November of last year following a lengthy labor dispute, Hostess Brands closed its doors, leaving the fate of the king of snack cakes uncertain. Within days, store shelves across the country were picked clean, causing fans of the Twinkie to seek shelter in less savory places.


But there is light at the end of that spongy, creme-filled tunnel. Now the company is in the hands of, among others, one C. Dean Metropoulos. He's the man that bought the Pabst Brewing Company in 2010 for $250 million. He is the lord of the PBR, a beer created for people that don't like to spend a lot of money on beer that's recently been embraced ironically by people that have plenty of money to spend on beer.

In an official statement (via CNNMoney), Metropoulos promised a summer return for our lost hero.

"Our family is thrilled to have the opportunity to reestablish these iconic brands with new creative marketing ideas and renewed sales efforts and investment," said Metropoulos. "We look forward to having America's favorite snacks back on the shelf by this summer. We are also ecstatic to bring jobs back to many cities across the country."

Apollo and Metropoulos now own Hostess and Dolly Madison. Flowers Foods snagged the bread business last month, so Wonder Bread is covered. The only major player still up in the air is Drake's — that's Ring Dings, Devil Dogs, Yodels and Yankee Doodles. The current high bidder for Drake's is Mckee Foods, the makers of Little Debbies. Such an incestuous business. It almost needs a racy HBO miniseries.


So rest, America, and dream your creme-filled dreams. They'll be coming true soon.

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People actually enjoy Twinkies? I always thought they tasted like stale sadness that had been sitting in a warehouse for too long.