Please Don't Buy The Game I Released Two Years Ago

Fortnite gets golf carts and portals, a No Man’s Sky dictator says he’s actually role-playing, the popular Chapo Trap House podcast starts a Twitch channel to get political about games, and Octopath Traveler is here. It’s all on today’s Kotaku XP, our weekly video series about hot game topics.

I gotta say, playing Octopath Traveler on a rickety New York subway sure brings back memories of playing The Final Fantasy Legend on Game Boy in the back of my dad’s big Dodge Ram van during a road trip to Pennsylvania in October of 1990.


I never had a problem with carsickness until I started riding the New York subway every morning. I used to be able to read the tiniest text off the worst screen—I mean, I beat Final Fantasy Legend on that Game Boy in the back of that van during that long road trip in 1990. Though the Nintendo Switch’s screen is better than any Game Boy’s ever was, the traction of the New York subway is miraculously more rambunctious even than my dad’s old American-made van, and seriously, he shoulda pushed that van into a lake the day he bought it. Unfortunately, he bought it in Kansas, where there are no lakes.

The New York subway feels like it’s constantly rolling over and crushing head-of-lettuce-sized rocks. Or human skulls. It’s as comfortable as winning the Kentucky Derby on a three-legged horse. My eyes were playing ping-pong with the little tiny menu text in that game.


Well, just when I feel like I’m getting too old to have sentimental experiences with games, this discomfort while Octopathing—coupled with the game’s uncanny resemblance to SaGa games—so strongly recalled my Final Fantasy Legend road trip that the game glued itself permanently to my brain. It turns out that Octopath Traveler’s battle system is exactly the sort of thing I want to do on a train.

So the curse is lifted: I’ve owned my Nintendo Switch for going on a year and a half, and finally, Octopath Traveler has persuaded me to start taking it out on the subway every day.

Hear me talk a little bit more about Octopath Traveler in this video here!

Also hear me speak in quite somber tones about a special occasion: Yesterday was the two-year anniversary of the release of my video game, VIDEOBALL. For four minutes at the end of this week’s Kotaku XP, I’ll do my best to persuade you to never buy it, even though it’s the best game I’ve ever played.


I’m allowed to say it’s the best game I’ve ever played, by the way. Why would I have made it if I didn’t like it?

You could subscribe to our YouTube channel, by the way. All our videos are on there, just for you!

I make videos for Kotaku. I make video games for myself and my friends. I like writing fiction. Someday I will publish a novel. Who knows!



Shamefully, this is my first time watching this show, but it’s awesome and you’ve both made my list of “Cool internet people I’m going to make Fire Pro World characters of as soon as I get my ps4 copy.”