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The Witcher 3 Lets You Have Sex On A Unicorn

Yes, you read that right. A unicorn. Not one that’s alive, mind. A stuffed unicorn! But still: a unicorn. NSFW warning. The GIF above comes from the latest “Clueless Gamer” segment on Conan. I won’t bullshit you: Conan mostly spends his time making childish bad jokes about boning all the women he comes across in…

By Patricia Hernandez Published May 8, 2015

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Nintendo Thinks They’ll Dominate The Garbage Mobile Gaming Market

This week in Japan, Nintendo boss Satoru Iwata made some lofty promises about the company’s plan to make mobile games. “We will strive to expand this business into global markets at a steady pace so that eventually we will entertain hundreds of millions of people all around the world,” he said. “We are aiming to…

By Jason Schreier Published May 8, 2015

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Custom Nintendo 64 Is A Fantastic Tribute To Ocarina of Time

Belgian artist Vadu Amka completely covered a Nintendo 64 with a rock and moss motif to transform the console into an artifact from Hyrule. He’s modded N64s before, but the painting and the attention to detail on this one is just so realistic, this could be his best looking one yet. The ancestral gems being…

By Gergo Vas Published May 8, 2015

Kotaku East

One-Ton Bomb from WWII Temporarily Closing Osaka’s Geek Street

Today, anime retailer Animate sent out an unusual tweet: Its shop in Osaka’s Nipponbashi neighborhood will be closed for several hours tomorrow. The reason? A one-ton bomb. This past March, construction workers discovered the one-ton bomb in Nipponbashi, Osaka’s geek district also known as “Den-Den Town.” According to NHK, the bomb was American-made and dates…

By Brian Ashcraft Published May 8, 2015

Kotaku East

Why So Many Movies in Japan Are Based on Manga and Anime

Surely, you’ve noticed? Recently, in Japan, there’s a glut of movies based on manga and anime. There must be a reason for this. There most certainly is. It is a rather simple and somewhat obvious reason. But here, let Beat Takeshi tell it. Beat Takeshi, of course, is a famed comedian, actor, and filmmaker—among many…

By Brian Ashcraft Published May 8, 2015

Kotaku East

Xenoblade Chronicles X is Pure Scenery Porn

Xenoblade Chronicles X may be on a system far less graphically powerful than the PS4 or Xbox One, but that doesn’t stop it from having some of the most beautiful alien scenery I’ve seen in a game. At this point, I’ve been playing Xenoblade Chronicles X for around 20 hours. And in that time, I’ve…

By Richard Eisenbeis Published May 8, 2015

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By March 2017, Nintendo aims to have five titles on smart devices. These will be “carefully” selected. All IPs can be considered.

By Brian Ashcraft Published May 8, 2015

Kotaku East

Yoshimitsu Goes Full Tentacle Monster for Tekken 7

It shouldn’t really be a surprise that Yoshimitsu is in Tekken 7. What is a surprise is how he looks. The characters appearance does change from game to game. Let’s have a look back at some different Yoshimitsu incarnations from over the years: And now… Here’s another screenshot via Famitsu: Below, you can watch the…

By Brian Ashcraft Published May 8, 2015

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Today, Nintendo announced it has shipped 10.5 million Amiibos worldwide. With shortages, some fans might say that’s not enough! In case you missed it, check out Kotaku’s opinionpiece on the Amiibo problem.

By Brian Ashcraft Published May 8, 2015

Kotaku East

Track: Anthem of Shibuya | Artist: Momus | Album: Ping Pong Kotaku Soundtrack is a selection of the stuff we’re listening to – and gaming to – at the moment

By Brian Ashcraft Published May 8, 2015

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StarCraft II Mod Turns Game Into Tactical RPG

StarCraft 2 is, most days of the week, a real-time strategy game. Thanks to this mod by greythepirate, though, it can also be a turn-based tactical RPG. You can download it here

By Luke Plunkett Published May 7, 2015

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Newt Gingrich Wearing Oculus Rift Looks Like A Caption Contest

So go on, have at it. (Pics via Mashable)

By Luke Plunkett Published May 7, 2015

Culture

Stormtroopers Have No Idea What They’re Doing

Dude second-from-left is just “haha what is going on”. This piece is by Martin Parker, who is a freelance artist based in the UK. You can see more of Martin’s work at his personal siteand ArtStation page To see the larger pics in all their glory (or, if they’re big enough, so you can save…

By Luke Plunkett Published May 7, 2015

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The Nightly Show Is Wrong About Final Fantasy

On the May 5 episode of the Nightly Show, there was a gag where a phony set of terms and conditions for agreeing to watch the program were flashed on-screen. If you saw it live you’d have only seen it race flash by, but pausing reveals a politically-charged throwdown. For anyone who can’t read the…

By Luke Plunkett Published May 7, 2015

Culture

Deer Astronaut

Deer astronaut. Deer astronaut deer astronaut deer astronaut deer astronaut deer astronaut deer astronaut deer astronaut.* Deer astronaut deer astronaut deer astronaut.** *Steam user Tomas made a goddamn fucking deer astronaut for use in endlessly popular construction game Space Engineers. Look at that. LOOK AT THAT. (Update: Turns out, the deer astronaut was actually created…

By Nathan Grayson Published May 7, 2015

Reviews

Wolfenstein: The Old Blood: The Kotaku Review

Wolfenstein: The New Order showed you could take an old style of game and make it feel new. Its new expansion, The Old Blood, simply feels old. I loved last fall’s The New Order. A lot of people did. It was a seemingly old-fashioned type of shooter that ended up being one of the surprise…

By Luke Plunkett Published May 7, 2015

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Beautiful Nintendo Games That Deserve To Actually Exist

It’s May, which means it’s time for Japanese game store Meteor to hold its annual Famicase exhibition, an event where artists from all over the world come together to design fake Nintendo games. (Top design by Matthew Kenyon) One day, I’ll actually make the trip and see them in the flesh (there’s a cool little…

By Luke Plunkett Published May 7, 2015

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Sick Burn, Goat Simulator

Today, the latest expansion for Goat Simulator releases on Steam. It’s a survival game with zombies in it…that totally makes fun of other stereotypical zombie games on Steam. Yeah, it’s kind of having its cake and eating it too. I forgive it, though, because it’s still getting some good chuckles out of me. If you…

By Patricia Hernandez Published May 7, 2015

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Get a Taste of the Big Changes Coming to DC Comics for Free, Right Now

We know some of the big changes coming for Superman and Batman. But there’s a lot more for the DC Universe than just those two superheroes. It’s all changing next month and now you can get a sense of what that will look like, without paying a cent. This week marks the second month of…

By Evan Narcisse Published May 7, 2015

Esports

The Mid-Season Invitational, one of League of Legends’ biggest annual eSports events, is getting started today. As in: right now. You can follow along on Riot’s Twitch channel. Woo! Contact the author at [email protected]

By Yannick LeJacq Published May 7, 2015