One Valid Excuse For Sucking At Fighting Games

Illustration for article titled One Valid Excuse For Sucking At Fighting Games

Do you suck at fighting games? So does Kotaku commenter Masterage, but he actually has a valid excuse. Feel free to borrow it!


I love fighters, but they don't love me.

I've just been told that my dyscalculia could actually be stopping me from correctly remembering complex combo chains. Would explain a lot, actually, as I tend to go to characters with viable but short combos or rely on the knockdown guessing game.


Though unfortunately this means that I'll never reach a real competitive level without learning some other method. Stuck at able to beat casual but not tournament sucks.

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Bubbleman! Will buy a PS Vita for NHL 13 or Gundam Extreme VS, so make it reality!

He would've been alright if this were the early 90s, when SF2 was running shit.

I honestly can't play fighters anymore because of how fucking absurd the systems have gotten. Not only are they absurd, but in most cases (*cough* Tekken 6), look completely ridiculous. Bouncing someone 3 inches off the ground for 5 or 6 hits isn't impressive, it's stupid.

Yeah, I know real-world logic shouldn't apply to videogames, but this is one case where what's actually happening onscreen clashes with the design aesthetic.

So basically.

Tekken is noob garbage for people who like character designs that get worse and worse with each new game.

Virtua Fighter is for people who insane reflexes and value strategy.

DOA is for people who like smooth animations and cinematic fights, but want a little less complexity

Street Fighter is for cool people, but the tournament scene is overrun with dickbags like those asshats from Empire Arcadia and people who think if you don't use arcade sticks you must be a leper.

Mortal Kombat is for Americans and Metalheads.

BlazBlu is for masochists, people with way too much free time and guys with vinyl statues of 12 yr old anime girls.

King of Fighters is for Mexicans, South Americans, whatever. Hell, SNK and SEGA have some kind of weird grip on the South American populace, I'd really like to know why.

Okay, I'm done generalizing and stereotyping for today.

Seriously though.... you custom stick people make me godamn sick. I take pleasure in beating you guys with a Sega Saturn pad.