Nintendo announced an upgraded Switch with a larger, OLED screen earlier this week the same way it’s announced most Switch-related things. We’ve got someone playing Metroid Dread in his living room, a nice poolside session with the Breath of the Wild sequel, and a guy…wait, why is he playing Pokémon in his hallway?
Since the reveal, social media has been inundated with folks bemused and confused by this man’s actions. The segment makes no sense. Hallway Switch Guy, as I’ve dubbed him in Kotaku’s chat, gets home from work or school or wherever he was, drops his keys and backpack, and immediately sits down in his foyer with one of the Pokémon Diamond and Pearl remakes.
It’s as if Hallway Switch Guy had been waiting all day to get back to that tiny, wooden bench. Like he always plays video games in the most high-traffic area of his house, back straight against the unforgiving wall behind him while catching a dang Buizel. And smiling the whole time like it’s the most normal thing in the world. It’s truly depraved stuff.
Most of the time, I get what Nintendo is going for in Switch ads. I may be a hermit who plays video games with the curtains drawn to hide my shame, but I can totally envision a scenario where someone might post up at the local coffee shop for a Super Mario 3D World sesh or whip out the handheld to school peepaw in a backyard game of chess. Heck, I didn’t even have an issue with the rooftop parties Nintendo was obsessed with for a while there.
But a hallway? No, that’s where I draw the line. That’s unhinged, Norman Bates staring into the camera at the end of Psycho type shit. What’s next, a closet? An attic? Maybe a dusty, spider-infested crawl space?