Illustration for article titled New iKatamari Damacy/i Game Is Hot Garbage

You may have heard there’s a new Katamari Damacy game on both iOS and Android. There is! It’s called Tap My Katamari. It is awful.

Illustration for article titled New iKatamari Damacy/i Game Is Hot Garbage
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I played it yesterday so you don’t have to. Things start pretty well! Some nice new Katamari splash art, some funky music to accompany it. After a lengthy loading screen, you get playing and....

Illustration for article titled New iKatamari Damacy/i Game Is Hot Garbage

...oh. This is it. You roll your Katamari from left to right. No 3D control, no strategy, you just...tap the screen to roll. Tapping the screen faster makes the Prince roll...faster. In other words, it’s what’s called a “clicker”, since that’s precisely all you do. Here’s some video in case you don’t believe me.

Illustration for article titled New iKatamari Damacy/i Game Is Hot Garbage
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After a bit of rolling, this menu appears.

Illustration for article titled New iKatamari Damacy/i Game Is Hot Garbage
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Then this menu.

Illustration for article titled New iKatamari Damacy/i Game Is Hot Garbage
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Then this one.

So, yeah, fuck this game.

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